Audrey knows...

...that she's been neglecting this blog.

There have been a number of big things that have happened in the past few months. I've been good about keeping a list...with the intent that I needed to write it all down in my blog and purge. Unfortunately, I've been so wrapped up in it all, that I have nailed down the "list" part, and not the "blog" part.

However, inspiration comes in fun places...and after a lovely tweet from @alevesque on twitter, I've decided to get back on the horse. No time like the present. I hope everyone can tolerate my next number of posts...they're going to be rather up and down. (much like my past three months have been. ;))

Nothing says fun like...

...SCORCHED EARTH!!!

What is "Scorched Earth" you ask?

Scorched Earth is our name for the Fiscal Responsibility dinners Homer and I created a year ago.

The term comes from an episode of the Dave Ramsey Show where a woman (FAR over her head in debt and not sure what to do about it) called in and Dave had a little, humorous melt down. He started with a few of his standard Dave-isms. "Live like no one else so that later on in life, you can live like no one else." and "You shouldn't see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there." and out of nowhere started yelling, "SCORCHED EARTH!!! SCORCHED EARTH!!!" It made Homer and I laugh like complete fools...and then became the title of our dinners.

The idea is essentially a potluck, but with parameters. The guidelines are as such: -Each couple/individual (whatever you want to do) brings ONE food item that costs less than $10 to make and that can be shared among the group. We've even done Scorched Earths that were under $5. It is a total blast. Everyone comes up with their inexpensive dish to share with the group. All the fun of a potluck and eating out with friends for a fraction of the cost. The rules are simple.

-Recipe and cost breakdown MUST be included.
-Items will be judged by the group Iron Chef style, based on a range of criteria by the group including cost, taste and presentation.
-Items grown or otherwise produced by the cook do not incur a cost in the recipe. (veggies, fruit, herbs...etc)
-Tie goes to the individual with the cheaper dish.

Now, we've had some GREAT meals this way. It is a cheap, fun and healthy way to spend time with friends. I'm so excited to have our new house...because we'll have even more room for Scorched Earth. Perhaps we should have a small one to bid adieu to the trailer?

My favorite was our first "Healthy Scorched Earth". Here is my review of the night(including dishes):


All of our dishes actually came in the $3-$4 range. That's right. $3-$4. How many people ate last night? Eight. Four meals, eight people fed, less than $16 total cost. Are you doing the math, kids? That means a SUPER healthy meal, fun and entertainment for EIGHT GROWN ADULTS for less than $2 a person. New Years Resolutions and failing economy...you won't get us!

On the table last night was: (and I'll try to get recipes from everyone and food totals soon)

Firstly, Kara brought Governor's rolls. ;) And for that, we were ALL very grateful.

Tomato Spanish Soup - A mild, sweet and slightly heated tomato base soup with layers of mild onions and peppers. A LOVELY starter. Brought by Kaitlyn.

Goulash over Noodles - A traditional beef goulash (lean ground beef purchased in bulk to drive down the cost) that was more heavy on the peppers (which was a delight), sweet tomatoes and a brilliant consistency, drizzled over egg noodles. Brought by Jamie and Jerry.

Quinoa with Truffle Oil and Mushrooms - DELICIOUS! If you haven't tried Quinoa yet, get on it. It is like a hearty couscous with some serious staying power. Saturated with mushrooms and having just a TOUCH of truffle oil made the flavor of the Quinoa jump out. Cooked in chicken broth only added depth. Brought by Amy and Brett

Tuscan Garlic Pork with Veggies - Lean pieces of pork cut into about two inch strips, marinaded in light garlic dressing and breaded, baked on top of a bed celery, carrots, onions and sweet potatoes (also marinaded) and topped with the slightest amount of Romano cheese. I was extremely please with how this turned out. The potatoes helped give it more staying power and at $1.89 for a pound of pork (yes, it was on sale. THAT is why I created this dish), there was plenty to go around. The combo of the sweet potatoes with the garlic and onions was terrific. And it was a very no-fuss meal. I chopped the veggies the night before and used a plastic bag to marinade them. Then I marinaded the pork and left the two bags in the fridge. Finally, I created the breadcrumbs and placed THEM in a bag. The next morning, I took my Pampered Chef large bar pan, spread the veggies over the pan and placed it in my oven on a timer. When I came home, the veggies were perfect and the house smelled divine. I walked over to the fridge, took out the pork, threw the pork into the pre-assembled breadcrumb back, shook and then placed the pork over the already gorgeous veggies. Baked for another 15 minutes. Removed from the bar pan, put in serving dish and topped with cheese. Just wonderful. And at a grand total of $3.63 for the ENTIRE MEAL and about 200 calories per serving (including a full serving of veggies!)...it will be a regular at our house and should be at yours, too. (obviously, this was Homer and my contribution. ;))

Opportunity doesn't give a heads up...

...it just shows up.

Last week, a gentleman from the Bangor Daily News called the School of Pharmacy asking for me. I had missed his original call, but his voicemail stated that he was gathering facts for an editorial piece he was doing regarding the creation of two new pharmacy schools in Maine. I first looked for my boss, the Dean. He wasn't around. I then called Julie, the PR person at Husson. She didn't answer. I tried her cellphone. STILL no answer. Nervously, I jotted down some important facts about our school and called back the reporter. He said not to worry, he was just looking for an angle for his piece and wanted more information about the school. My apprehension faded at that point and we just talked. Talking about The School of Pharmacy is easy for me, as I'm very passionate about the subject. We talked for about fifteen minutes and by the end, it felt like I was having a good chat with a person I'd known for a long time. He thanked me for the information and we said goodbye. Upon seeing the Dean, I informed him of the phonecall and showed him my notes I'd taken. He had no problems with it and I went about my day...never giving the phonecall another thought.

I didn't think about the phonecall again until yesterday morning. The phone rang and I saw it was Julie's extension.

"I want to know how much extra I get paid for being Audrey Brissette's publicist."

I paused. "Ummmm...what?"

Then Julie started to read the article. And then she said my name. The reporter had quoted me in the article. I immediately froze. I didn't expect to be in the article. I just thought I was giving information about the program. Any other time I'd been in the paper, I was asked if I gave permission to be in the paper. I started thinking back to what I'd said...trying to think if I'd said anything wrong.

"I just want to commend you. You did a great job. A hell of a job. This is fantastic and I couldn't have done it better myself. We're all thrilled and I imagine your bosses are, too."

Sigh of relief.

"Aside from them calling you Mr. Brissette in the end, it was a fantastic piece. And it was the lead editorial. Not bad."

We chatted for a bit longer and by the end, I'd found the article online. They did, indeed, call me Mr. Brissette at the end...but other than that, I was pleased to see that he took much of what I said to heart and the enthusiasm I have for the program read very well through the piece. Word spread and I continued to get compliments from the Husson community.

This morning I received a phonecall with President Beardsley on the other end of the line. I assumed he wanted to talk to the Dean and had been unable to reach him. "Audrey, I just wanted to tell you how please I am with the article in the paper yesterday. It is very rare for us to get the lead editorial piece - so rare that I think this is only the second time in my presidency that it has happened. I can't imagine anyone doing a better job." He went on to tell me just how much he loved the article and how he was very pleased at my quick thinking and using my intuition to call back the press as opposed to waiting for someone to approve it. (I'm sure if I'd said something wrong, that wouldn't be the case. ;)) But for five minutes, he sang my praises and said he'd be sending out a letter to the Husson community and have the article be the closing news item. He said repeatedly that I must have said something very compelling to the reporter, because it is very rare to be mentioned so often in an opinion piece.

I'm thrilled that I had the opportunity to talk to the press on behalf of Husson. If I hadn't of answered the call in the time that I did, the reporter was going to contact University of New England and we would have lost this great opportunity of free press. I came to work expecting to fill out travel forms, process reimbursements and schedule meetings...not being a temporary mouthpiece for the school. But I'm so glad that it did work out this way. It isn't often that you get the chance to impress the higher ups and promote something for which you have a passion in one fail swoop. ;)
http://www.bangordailynews.com/detail/114135.html

One year...

...can make all the difference in the world.

Alyssa has been an avid hiker since she was three. Her love of climbing and her ability to do so has been one of her earliest attributes. She has always been incredibly adept at climbing and has never had any fear of doing so. Alyssa's biggest deterrent when it comes to hiking and climbing has always been her size. When Alyssa started hiking at the age of three, she was in the 0th percentile for her height and weight. Alyssa was still in 18 month clothing at the age of three. She's never let it stop her, but there were some obvious obstacles that just couldn't be overcome. Bolders that couldn't be topped. Iron rungs that couldn't be reached.

The first time Alyssa did Borestone Mountain, the people heading up the mountain thought we were crazy for taking her up there. No one believed that she was climbing this mountain. (mind you, they probably thought she was a young toddler...but still.) When we got to the iron rungs and vertical scrambling, our friend Chris propped Alyssa up on his shoulders and carried her up the steep part of the mountain.

The second time showed a marked improvement for Alyssa over the previous year. She still needed to be carried over some of the tough scrambling parts, but that was not because of her strength, but simply her height.

We used to have a term that summed up our hiking trips with the little miss: "Alyssa pace". This was the slightly more relaxed pace that our hiking trips would need to take, simply because for every one step that we took, Alyssa would have to take four. Her legs just weren't long enough to go very fast. She practically would have to run up the mountain just to keep up with a very leisurely pace for us.

Those days, my friends, are gone. "Alyssa pace" will now be a goal for others of us to keep up with. With the addition of about seven pounds and five inches, Alyssa is still petite for her age - but what a difference those inches and a year have made. Alyssa required NO help this time at all, and often needed to be yelled at by us to slow down. At one point, I actually had to tell her to stop so I could catch my breath...something I NEVER have to do while hiking. I'm usually very good at pressing on...but at one point this weekend, I simply had to holler "UNCLE!" and stop. And the scrambling required no assistance what-so-ever. Alyssa honestly could have just left us all at the bottom and gone up to the top alone. And when I had the audacity to ask her if she needed help, she would become very grouchy and inform me that my help was NOT necessary.

It was a lovely trip with my lovely ladies...but the highlight of the trip was absolutely watching Alyssa. And it was bittersweet...because I was so proud of how far she'd come...but once again was faced with how quickly she's growing up. Such a strange feeling...welcoming not being needed.

Saving money...

...means getting back to the basics.

Five years ago, my life was much different. I spent four months as an unemployed, unsupported and unsure single mom to a beautiful infant. I had to do something that was unimaginable thing for me at the time, I had to go on welfare. I feverishly sent out job applications -- desperate for any work I could find. I wracked up all of my credit cards in an effort to live from day to day with my daughter. I didn't have it in me to ask my parents for money and I was stubborn enough to make sure that even if I had to do it all on my own, we'd live a life that was happy and bountiful. It was a horribly, depressing, dark and gut-wrenching time in my life. The toll that my divorce had on me was monumental. It literally changed my outlook on life and my beliefs. It changed me as a person. I wasn't strong until that time. I made an effort to surround myself with distractions. I lost 80 lbs in 6 months. I got a professional job that was a challenge and occupied my mind. I spent countless hours with Alyssa trying to develop her talents and even more hours hugging her and sheltering her from any stress that my heart was feeling.

My introduction to coupon cutting came as a necessity. While unemployed, I got very little in the way of food stamps and even less in TANF benefits. In order to eat healthfully (which can be expensive) I had to get creative. After doing research, I found out that I was able to use coupons with my food stamps and I would get those coupon values as "credits" for other items that weren't normally allowed on foodstamps - such as toilet paper and diapers. I would make sure to cut enough coupons to save as much money as possible AND allow me to buy soap, shampoo, diapers and other necessities that I wouldn't have been able to on my TANF alone. At first, I despised it. I spent many hours crying uncontrollably with a pair of scissors and the weekend paper in my hand. I would go around to grocery stores and corner stores and ask them for any extra coupon inserts they might have had. It was a dark time in my life. I was ashamed.

But somehow, those feelings of depression and sadness gave way to something totally different: Fun. It became fun. It became a game. I'd clip my coupons and get the fliers from all the different grocery stores. I'd match things up. I would drive to three different grocery stores and get my weekly groceries. I was able to keep my out of pocket cost for groceries to $20-$30 a week for Alyssa and I. And we ate well.

When I got my job with Husson, the clipping didn't end there. The day I got my job, I contacted the State of Maine and asked that my welfare be cancelled. They argued at first, but ultimately took me off welfare. With the money coming from my paycheck, it because more important than ever to keep using the coupons. It got to the point that Sherry at the front desk would save the Shaw's flier for me and deliver it to my desk. I'd spend my lunch hour writing down the sales. Every weekend I'd to go Gramma and Papa's house and clip coupons that Gramma would save for me while Alyssa played. Every week Papa would ask me if I was able to actually save money that way and ever week I'd tell him that I actually saved between $40 and $50 a week doing it. He'd make some kind of crack about how that was a good wage for my time. (have I mentioned lately how much I miss Papa in general...but REALLY miss THAT version of Papa?)

And then I started succeeding at my job even more. I saved money. I bought my mobile home. Life started its wonderful upswing. And as I earned more money...it became less necessary for me to clip coupons in order to survive. And slowly, convenience took over and I didn't want to go to more than one grocery store. And before I knew it, I was spending $60-70 a week for groceries. When WHSjr moved in a few years ago, it only got worse. I now was for the first time in a double income situation. Groceries became $80-100 a week. But more often than not, we'd go to the grocery store more than once a week. That is a killer for a budget. And then we started eating out more...all out of laziness and convenience.

But between Dave Ramsey (see previous post) and buying our new house, the money saving bug has hit again. Last week, after clipping coupons and watching the sales, I saved $56 at the register and got two $10 rebates for a grand savings of $76. As Papa would say, "Not a bad wage for my time." I've rediscovered the fun. We're going to start using a menu again. We're going to stop eating out as much. We're going to get on a budget again and kick ass.

Sure, we could survive without it...but it is more fun to make our money work FOR us and not against us. And to do that...we'll go back to the basics.

A lot has changed in the past five years...but saving money should never go out of style. :)

Life has this pesky way...

...of interrupting you. ;)

So, it has been awhile since my last post. Not intentional, mind you. There has been a lot going on. We've had some major work to be done here at Husson, getting our Pre-Candidate status for the School of Pharmacy AND...

...we're finally closing on the house! Tomorrow at 11am, we'll be signing our lives away to purchase our first "real" home in Bangor. (I use "real" in quotation marks because I like to think of our mobile home as a "practice" house. ;)) Alyssa is beyond thrilled at this notion...and so are we!

So, now that we're going to be homeowners, I'll have to really step up the things I know...

...like saving money. ;)

I now have a new title...

..."race director".

David Colby Young is a kindly fellow I met back in January. We didn't actually get to chat, but he was outside of the Frozen 5k in Scarborough in January, dutifully set up with his video recorder and camera. Initially I thought he was just a relative of one of the runner's. Upon returning home, I realized he was much more than that.

David is the heart and soul behind mainerunningphotos.com. He takes photos of as many running events in Maine as he can and collects photos of events that he couldn't attend. His archive is amazing. And his drive is truly that of a man with a deep passion for the experience. After he found a picture that I had taken from another race on flickr, he contacted me and asked if I had any other pictures from the race. I added him as a contact and was blown away by what I saw. In addition to the actual mainerunningphotos.com website, he also has over 100,000 photos on his flickr account.

It was at the Polar Bear 5k in Portland in February when I actually spoke to him for the first time. I thanked him deeply for his dedication and for being the only way I have proof that I actually started running. We had a nice chat and once again, shared photos of the event after. Then at the Irish Road Rover in March, I was disappointed when I looked around and didn't see him anywhere. WHSjr and my friend Chris "Fava Beans" Sprague had expressed interest in meeting this person of whom I'd spoken so highly of. The race started and I ran the race thinking that he must not have been able to make it. But, I was wrong. :) Upon getting home, I got on flickr and saw that he and one of his associates had both been there. I started the process of filtering through the pictures to find myself...when I noticed something. Photos titled, "Audrey". He knew how important these pictures were to me and not only took the time to find me in the photos, but took time to title them so I could find them easier. He even was able to find some obscure shots and cropped me out so I'd have easier access to them. It was such an incredible gesture. Still makes me grin endlessly to think on it.

My April races were a little more obscure, and up in Central Maine. He obviously wasn't able to attend these races, but I more than willingly gave him open permission to take the few photos I had from the events. In May, I was eager to say hello to him at the Mother's Day 5k in Portland. I had been training hard and was prepared to get a PR for the event. I was eager to have him there and be the one who photodocumented the moment. Unfortunately, in what I can describe as the biggest disappointment in my running 'career', I sustained an injury the day before while running the 4 mile Rabbit Run in Bangor. After a day of crying, I resigned myself to the fact that I'd not be able to run the Mother's Day 5k. Imagine my surprise that Sunday night when I had an email waiting for me from David, asking if I'd ran under another name because he didn't see me. It was yet another touching moment in my running career, provided by David. Someone noticed that I wasn't at a running event.

Me. Audrey Brissette. The girl who in high school couldn't finish a mile in 20 minutes. The one who was a goalie in field hockey for the express purpose of avoiding running. The person who only five years before had reached a top weight of nearly 300 lbs. Someone noticed that *I* wasn't at a running event. It was brilliant.

So, June came and my resolution was in danger. There were no 5k's that I could run in June that wouldn't conflict with other previous engagements. Instead of watching my resolution go away, I took matters into my own hands by "creating" a 5k race. I used the same course that the Old Town Animal Orphanage 5k race used, and called upon my friends and family to participate. I wanted to show the people I cared about WHY I was so in love with running. I wanted them to see that it didn't matter if I was slow. It didn't matter what place I finished. I wanted them to see that 5k isn't scary and unattainable. I wanted to share my love for this thing that has literally changed my perspective on life.

I made t-shirts. I had my father time the event. I had bagels, banana's and water. I made bibs. But it was ultimately all in fun. Only six of us ran, but it was a raging success. A great time was had by all and my resolution remained in tact.

And then...once again...David entered in and made the event even more special. He asked me if this was a timed running event, and I said that it was, but explained to him that it wasn't a 'real' race...just a little thing I threw together. I asked him (half jokingly) if he wanted the times for the race. Here is his response:

"Yes, send me the results, PLEASE! I am your media. I would be glad to cover your race.If you do the same thing next year you might need a few more volunteers, If you are the race director, you can make the rules. You can control the number of people in your race event. Do I call you Race Director now?"

I laughed...but then found this link on mainerunningphotos.com

I'm convinced now that we will do this next year. And it WILL be something to look forward to. And David Colby Young epitomizes everything that I've loved about running and runners:

Runners are among the most supportive, thoughtful and accepting bunch of people I've ever known. No one is there to cut anyone down. Everyone is in the race for their own reason, and everyone embraces that. I've gotten a hug from the person who finished first in a race...even though I barely broke the 37 minute mark. I've crossed finish lines with a group of other runners waiting for me...even though they undoubtedly had been waiting for twenty minutes. I've been at the end of a race and waited for the last person to finish...and stood there with a group of people - SCREAMING - for that person in the same way one would for someone breaking a world record. It is an amazing thing. An amazing thing. And I can't wait to see my friend and thank him again, in person, for all of his dedication and passion for not only his own path in running, but his passion and dedication for supporting everyone else on their path and making sure it is well documented.

I know I have...

...a job. ;)

Husson School of Pharmacy Granted Pre-Candidate Status

I greatly miss...

...my clothesline.

Maine has been drenched lately in an unending barrage of rainy weather. Aside from the general malaise that prolonged inclement weather can bring, it also brings with it many inconveniences.

-I've found myself letting laundry pile up, in hopes that I won't have to use my dryer.
-The grass has grown to an ungodly level, both due to the excessive rain as nourishment AND the fact that we can't mow the lawn while the grass is wet.
-Since my injury sustained during my May 4 mile race, I've been afraid of running in the rain or in wet situations. I know I need to get over it...but still.
-Alyssa is going freakin' nuts. The poor child has had limited outdoor time. I think tonight or tomorrow might be an official puddle jumping night for us. Just to get some of the crazy out. She's spent more time in the McDonald's playplace in the past week than I'd really like to think about.
-My sweet little tan that I'd started to develop has started to fade.
-There is so much standing water near our house that we'll be suffering a major influx of bugs and pests.
-WHSjr built a sweet little fire pit a few weeks back...and we've been completely unable to use it...
-Which brings me to grilling. Summer time is supposed to mean grill time!
-Two trips up mountains have been canceled due to the poor weather. I've yet to climb anything this 'summer'. NOT COOL.
-Not being able to leave the windows open for fear of rain getting into the house.
-I CAN'T FIND GALOSHES ANYWHERE!!! At least if I had a cute pair of galoshes I'd feel a little better about life.

But, there is one advantage: I have my beautiful umbrella from my friends at Bella Luna to keep me dry. If you are looking for a fun shop with big town flair and a local feel and hospitality...go visit Bella Luna. These umbrellas are to die for and they're very high quality. At only $30, they're an absolute steal.

I guess I'll suck it up for now and throw my clothes in the dryer. Rain, rain - go away.

Dave Ramsey...

...has already started to change our family tree.

Believe it or not, this story starts with a missing library book.

Alyssa lost one of her library books this spring and on Monday was informed that she couldn't have her report card with an outstanding library book, and if she didn't find the book, we would have to pay to replace it. Now, mind you, the book was only $4 ... but that wasn't the point. We explained to Alyssa that we'd need to take some money from Wilbur (her piggy bank) and work out a list of chores to do to work off the cost of the book.

Yesterday was Alyssa's last day of school. We paid for the book and she came home with her report card and a slew of other papers. It was a bittersweet moment for me. As a celebration for her last day of school, we told her she could climb in bed with me and watch Wall-E. I, being a slightly sleepy and drained Mama right now, dozed off. I woke to Alyssa yelling and exclaiming, "MOM! LOOK! I DID IT!" I opened my eyes to see that Alyssa had pulled her first tooth all by herself. (the fact that she was able to do that is a topic for another blog another time.) We cleaned it off, put it in an envelope and put it under her pillow. This morning, she awoke to a one dollar bill under her pillow.

"What are you going to do with it?" I asked.
"I'm going to put it towards the library book." She responded quickly.
I paused.
"You're going to do what?"
"I'm going to use it to pay you back for the library book."
::insert Mama swelling with pride::
I looked at her and smile. "You know, this is a special dollar. I think you can use this dollar to do whatever you want with. You don't need to pay back the library book with that dollar."
"Then I want to put it in Wilbur."

You got it, folks. Alyssa's first reaction was to pay off debt and the second was to save. Sure, she might not have realized it...but that is what happened!

For those of you who don't listen to Dave Ramsey, start. Go to daveramsey.com and start reading. Before long, you'll be saying phrases like, "Live like no one else, so someday you can live like no one else." or "I'm not taking part in this recession." or my favorite, "I'm better than I deserve." Dave gives financial advice that our grandparents used to abide by. He helps millions of people get out of debt all the time. Listen to his show on Fridays and listen to people call in to scream "I'MMMMMM DEBBBTTTT FREEEEEEE!!!" Start with the babysteps and move your way to financial freedom. ;)

And, as Dave would say, "change your family tree".

Despite my best efforts...

...I cannot always control the irrationality that comes with being a girl. ;)

I spent much of yesterday afternoon feeling very proud, but kind of defeated in regards to my place in the PhD search. WHSjr seemed completely baffled as to my take on it...because he insisted I was first to find out aside from the people that were physically there. From my perspective, I had no phone call, no text messages and when I finally text messaged him, he said, "Didn't you see it posted on facebook?" I really was convinced that he took the time to past on facebook and didn't take the time to call me. Even though, if I had been rational, I would have known that not to be the case. But, the girlie brain just kind of takes over sometimes...despite my efforts to be rational. One of the benefits to hanging around mostly guys all my life is training myself to be a more rational person. Most of the time, I can examine my natural reaction to things and think, "That is totally irrational." and then I fight it. It saves me from having to apologize for stupid, rash and insane decision making later. ;) Unfortunately, I can't always fight it.

Today he told me that he had sent me a g-chat as soon as it was done. I hadn't been infront of my computer and was off preparing to celebrate with him...I never got the message. I was, infact, one of the first people he told. And last night, instead of going out and being a wild man (which he totally earned, by the way), he came home and we sat on the porch and chatted for a bit. And it was then that he said, "I want to thank you for everything." And with just that...my faith is restored that all of my stress and heartache over the past period of time did not go unseen. Oh Audrey...ye of little faith.

"Life moves pretty fast...

...if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Tomorrow is Alyssa's last day of kindergarten. How is that possible? It seems like WHSjr and I were just putting her on the bus for her first day!!! Her teeth are still wiggling and she's about to embark on her very first real summer vacation.

Top it all of with her 6th birthday on Monday.

I'm determined NOT to spend all of my time looking at baby pictures and crying. ;)

It isn't easy...

...to be the support system.


WHSjr turns 31 today. Imagine, we were just 14 and 16 when we started dating...during round one. ;) Next month will be the 15 year anniversary of our meeting. Hard to believe.

I'm proud to report that WHSjr passed his orals and his proposal defense today. He is officially a PhD candidate. It has been a very stressful and exhausting period of time. And I'd just like to give a shout out to all of the unsung heroes in the quest for higher education: The spouses and the parents. It is a horribly helpless feeling to sit back and watch someone you love be so stressed out and working so hard, and literally having NOTHING you can contribute. I can only imagine it being similar to watching your partner give birth. Gut wrenching, really. Sure, it wasn't my ass on the line...but I've lost more sleep over all of this...and it has nothing to do with whether or not he'd pass. It had everything to do with the stress he was under. Trying to make things as simple as possible on every other front...and anyone else in a similar situation can tell you this: It is a thankless position. Heck, after everything, I wasn't even third to find out that it was over and he had passed. And I get it, there are other obligations. There are people to meet with, there are papers to fill out and there is hob-nobbing to do. And that is part of this postion, too. My friend Jamie once told me that a person persues a PhD not for money, but for passion. And the truth is, my place in this passion is a distant and low priority...and it is a humbling experience for me to learn to accept that. So, much love to the others in this position...I know you're not allowed to say it outloud ever...but I'm acknowledging it for you...it is hard and deep down, you're appreciated.

I can do anything...

...which includes creating my own 5k. ;)

You're invited. Please come. Please RSVP.

http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=EKBKMOOFFCUISKQTKBEL&inviteId=PJMOKMBERSQDRDZAUSNM&showPreview=false&x=389945732

What a wonderful world...

...that this is the only reality Alyssa knows.

Whether or not you support President Obama, whether or not you voted for him or agree with him...no one can deny this: It is a wonderful world that this generation and every generation to follow will never know a world where this picture is out of the ordinary. What an amazing and remarkable thing. This picture really touched me...

...and what touched me even more is that Alyssa had NO CLUE why it touched me so much.

(oh, and the girls in the back are the Obama children. No Michelle in the picture...because Alyssa wants to marry President Obama, and Michelle just gets in the way of that. ;))

Running has become...

...my therapy.

Back on New Year's Eve this year, I was having a conversation about (what else?) resolutions. Two of my friends and I started talking about healthy living and exercise and about my first 5k experience on Thanksgiving Day weekend in 2008. After a few sips of champagne, we decided that the best resolution would be to run at least one 5k in each month that one was available in 2009. I dedicated myself to doing it. I agreed to do it thinking that no one would run a 5k in the Winter in Maine.

I was wrong.

I started in January 2009, and since that time, I have completed seven more races. It has been a life changing experience for me. I'm certainly not GOOD at running...but I've come to FEEL GOOD while running, and that is a huge experience for me. I treasure my time running. When I go without it, I feel my energy and my self-esteem slip away. While I'm running, I swear I'm torturing myself...and when I'm done, I feel like there is nothing I can't accomplish. I have learned a lot about myself through running and honestly feel like a better and more stable person because of it.

Since running, I've:
- worn out a pair of sneakers for the first time in my life
- learned that winning IS NOT everything
- started to expect more out of myself and not resign myself to the notion that all my good days are behind me
- come to remember that I'm blessed with the ability to run...there are many out there that can't.
- decided to be an inspiration to Alyssa and other "penguins" out there. (penguins are a term for 'non-runners' who run. We don't look like gazelle's running...we look like penguins. And that is okay. You'd be amazed at how many of us are out there.)
- realized that being strong is sexy. I might not look any different after a run, but I feel like I should be on the cover of Cosmo giving up all my dirty little secrets. ;)
- stopped looking at the scale for validation. I don't have any idea how much I weigh, and I realized that is okay.
- watched my pulse drop from in the high 90's to the low 70's.
- stopped looking at food like the enemy. I look at food like it is supposed to be looked at: as fuel.
- met so many amazing people on the same journey as me. I feel like we know this big secret that everyone else is in the dark on.

My streak is in danger this month. There are no 5k races in Maine that I can run, due to personal and professional obligations. I refuse to miss my date and want to create my own 5k "race"/run/walk. I want to get some other people that I know, love and respect and have a leisurely 5k in the greater Bangor area. I want some of my friends and family to realize that this isn't an event to be afraid of. I want people to learn something about themselves and do something healthy for themselves and their family. It is only 3.1 miles. Even if you walk, you can be done in an hour. An hour. How short is that? It only sounds scary...but 5k is incredibly short. I think if I can pull this off and have a 'race' with my friends, it will not only keep my streak alive, but possibly be the most important race I'll be in all year.

Please let me know if you're interested and we'll start working on a date.

"The miracle isn't that I finished, the miracle is that I had the courage to start."

Slowly upstairs...

...faster down.

Jethro Tull lyrics from "We Used to Know".

I remember VERY vividly being in second grade with Mrs. Gibbons. I remember watching the clock and having the thought, "Once it is 1:00pm, the rest of the day will go by quickly." The morning was always SO long. Time appeared to drag on at a snails pace when I was seven. Or the time the neighbor kids were coming over to our house. I asked my mom when they'd be at our house. "In an hour." That was the longest hour ever. Only as a grown up did I discover why kids REPEATEDLY ask, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?AREWETHEREYET?!". They have no concept of time.

So, how does something that seems to drag on at the time go away so fast? The first private 'conversation' I had with Alyssa (at the ripe old age of 1 hour old) was this: "Please, please, please don't grow up as quickly for me as I did for Gert and Gramp." Ahhhh...futility.

At 29, hours are a manic measurement of time. Being told you have an hour to do something implies a certain element of urgency and panic. And, sadly, days, weeks, month and years seem to have a similar urgency to them. Being told you have "one day" to accomplish something just seems unreasonable now. A day is so short. Likewise for the other increments of time. When did it all become so short...and how ridiculous will this statement look in twenty years, when time will presumably be passing even faster?

I've been thinking about time a lot lately.

Today, it has been a year since my grandfather passed. He was the first grandparent I've lost and first member of my immediate family I've lost. In a way, I think my concept of time has been altered because all of the players in my life have stayed the same since my functioning memory began. And I'm grateful and lucky for that. Heck, I still have my great-grandmother. Losing my grandfather wasn't a surprise. He hadn't been well for awhile and hadn't been 'himself' for longer. And any thoughts I had about the aging/death/dying process were permanently altered because of it. I have a horrible tendency of shutting down and blocking out things that overwhelm me. I can have the most discerning blind eye you've ever seen. Alyssa, Jay and I had planned on going to the nursing home on Father's Day last year to visit Papa. It would be the first time I went back by myself in six months, after an unfortunate and upsetting visit that Alyssa and I had gone on by ourselves. We had been talking for two weeks prior about going to see him for Father's Day.

The night that Papa passed, Jay and I had a 'date' night and climbed Dedham Bald Mountain while Alyssa was with Grandpa Wayne and Grammie Artlene, making Father's Day presents. We took pictures, enjoyed our time together and descended the mountain to go home and pick up Alyssa. It was a Thursday. Friday night we were hoping to go to the horse races with my parents. I can't even look at those pictures without getting a pit in my stomach. Papa was slipping away right then... Christopher called me at almost midnight. Now, in a true sign of my complete oblivion to the concept of someone dying...it never occured to me while the phone was ringing that anything bad had happened. I thought they were calling to tell me that he and Nikki were pregnant. Truly. Never once did I consider for a second that someone had passed. When Christopher told me...I argued. Like, not "no! it can't be true!"...but "No. You're wrong. We're going there on Sunday for Father's Day. You're wrong." And honestly believing it. He was wrong. He was mistaken. My parents hadn't called me and Christopher got his news wrong. At one point I threw the phone. It slowly sunk in. And over the next few days, I realized exactly how much one can accomplish while never taking a break to stop crying. The Dane Cook bit where he talks about all the stuff he did while crying - brushed his teeth, checked his emails, drove his car - I did it all. I honestly didn't stop crying for ...well... I don't know how many days.

It has been a year today. I could go on and tell you in great detail about how the following days happened. Emailing my friends that I couldn't go hiking Chick Hill with them on Friday. The frantic searching through the cabinets for food. Christopher's bloody nose. Mom telling me to go hug Nikki because she was very upset and needed me...and feeling totally relieved that someone found me fit to comfort someone else. Explaining to Alyssa that he was gone. Feeling badly that Jay had the strength to hold me during the funeral...and remembering that I was too paralyzed in fear and grief to do the same at his Gram's. A lot of stuff. And it seems so immediate. But it has been a year. A year.

I've been thinking a lot about time lately.

In a week and a half, Alyssa will turn six. Her bottom two teeth are loose. The same teeth that were the first to come in. She informed me that soon, she'll be nine. I don't know where that number came from...but she's right. In just three years. Three super short year. She'll be nine. She is currently a third the way thru childhood. And in three years, she'll be half way. And in the world of this 29 year old, three years is over in an instant...but I know in the mind of my six year old...three years is an eternity. And yet...some day, she'll be (God willing) sitting in a hospital bed, holding a child who is just an hour old and begging that child not to grow as fast as she did for her parents. And I'll be fifty something...begging for the same thing...because evidence has shown, that "Charlie stole the handle and the train it won't stop going, no way to slow down..."

(might as well finish off with another Tull quote. ;))

Dave Matthews Band...

...can match every mood imaginable.

Love struck?
Lover Lay Down

Angry?
Halloween

Devoted?
I'll Back You Up

Hopeful?
Dancing Nancy

Horny?
Crash...or Crush...or Say Goodbye...or...well, most DMB songs. ;)

Solomn?
Where Are You Going?

Heart Broken?
Grace is Gone

Pondering mortality?
Cry Freedom, Tripping Billies, Pig...okay, all the songs that aren't about sex.

There has been so much I've learned, experienced and pondered because of Dave Matthews Band. Sure, that may sound very Fan Girl of me...but it is true. When it comes down to it, Dave Matthews Band has meant more to me than any other music group I've had experience with. Sure, I'll always have a deep love for Jethro Tull because of my parents...and a love of the Beatles for the same. They Might Be Giants is one of my favorite groups...and I'd follow Tool to the ends of the earth to watch them play. But, when it comes down to the one band who has literally changed the spectrum of my life...it will always be DMB above all others.

With lyrics like, "I will go in this way and I'll find my own way out." and "Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters." and "Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out." I found strength to think thoughts that I was too scared to think during a time I needed the encouragement most.

Lyrics like, "Do what you will always walk where you like your steps, do as you please, I'll back you up." and "if along the way you are growing weary, you can rest with me till brighter days." helped me think more of other's wellbeing more than my own.

"And if you hold on tight to what you think is your thing, you may find you're missing all the rest." gave me the strength in more than one occasion to remove myself from a bad situation.

So, I know this...my life was actually altered because of the Dave Matthews Band...and I'm happy to still feel as great about them today as I did when I first heard them in high school.

Your evening neither has to be...

...expensive or tedious.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/jadefrog01/sets/72157619542643936/

Argument that it is too expensive and too time consuming to do it yourself?

Busted.

A meal that took less than an hour to prepare and put on the table with only SIX dishes dirtied and for LESS THAN $8. The meal fed a family of three easily and we had left overs.

Additionally, spending $3 for an iced coffee? No way. Have the best iced coffee ever for less than $.50 for two large iced coffees.

$4 for a loaf or artisan bread? Nope. Do 5 minutes of active work and have four loaves of bread ready to bake for up to two weeks for $.40 a loaf!

$7 for a cocktail? Naw. Make your own for less than a buck.

The cost of my dinner for three, bread, two cocktails and two morning iced coffee???

$10.02

Less than one hour of time.

You can afford it.

The best place to start...

...is the beginning.

This has been a long time coming. I've been looking for a place to put my pen to ink (well, fingers to keys...you know what I mean) for some time now. I've been trying to think of a place for me in cyberspace and nothing seemed to fit. I'm not into the "woe is me" blog type, but I'm not knowledgeable enough in anyone one field to warrant a specialized blog. And while I'm a self proclaimed simple girl, I have a wide and complex range of interests. I considered writing about the trials and tribulations of my entrance into the running world. I considered writing about my Pampered Chef business. I considered writing about motherhood and the joys and challenges therein. I considered writing about being thrifty and getting out of debt, Dave Ramsey style. I considered writing about cooking. About travel. About family. About weight loss. About photography. About music. I realized that I was the jack of all trades...master of none. "What a disappointment," I thought, "I have nothing to offer."

But, it turns out...I do.

I'm wise enough to know that I'm a fool. And I'm a fool enough to offer the few pieces of 'wisdom' I have and life experiences. Being a jack of all trades will become my mastery. The road probably won't be coherent...but it will be mine. And as Frank said, "I did it my way."